What i know about myself

Its been an interesting month with work situations that resulted in a first and final warning that i need to be good for next 3 years so i do not get fired.

I have realised that if i am:

- Stressed i want to sleep
- sick i want to eat, sleep n take my meds
- angry i want to fume n talk about it
- sad i want to find a comedy
- read a book i want to like the characters
- watch a movie i want enjoy it
- depressed i want to laugh n find some positives
- frustrated i want issues to be resolved
- in i dont care mood i will laugh while watching action movie like kings circle, also best time for me to sort thru my hoarding
- happy i want to enjoy the moment
- having a day off stay home in my pjs

I think i am at the angry stage of grief as stuff lately really gets me mad. Hopefully it will move to next stage. As i know month before mum passed i was in denial stage, i griefed stuff i would no longer do within her once mum was in paliative care.

I have two great ladies i can talk work n life with which is great. Also will be seeing a psychiatrist soon so maybe will deal with issues month of may in brothers house that came to emotional surface.

A little respect please

My mums cancer is really giving mum a run for her money o i am home to help look after her. Yet i have a sibling who gets aggro when you disagree or are not a willing removalist. No matter how many times you state your here to help your mum. Instead your seen as lazy spending time with your mum.
I like peace so will do stuff to avoid aggro but please be respectful and not treat me like im stupid, patronize me or be aggressive. I will not handle it will may even disappear for an hour or two or block your number.

The Best of Everything (1959)

Just watched a movie called the Best of Everything. Its about 3 girls who are typists at a publishing company. One girl is quite ambitious and wants to become an editor, one wants to be an actress and one is quite naïve. All the girls want to meet a girl and get married. If you watch it all the way through each girl does meet a girl and fall in love except it does not result in marriage. Each does what they need to do to do what they think is about love including being intimate with their guys. For a single girl watching the movies it makes me feel quite melancholy. The film was made in 1959 obvious the directors take on career girls of that time.


One of the quotes from one of the movies is about the girls all wanting someone to love them and doing what it takes to achieve that even if they have more than one guy while their main guy is not available.


It's still true today where people just want someone to be in their life for companionship and love. Or it is true about me.


Also my sister will be talking about her unplanned pregnancy on insight on Wednesday. I love my niece and seeing her personality, happiness, curious nature. She is so cute.


I have moments where I'm envious and have at times lost hope about ever meeting someone, getting engaged, married and having children.